Garfield is a copyrighted Jim Davis creation

You’ve spent your weekend traveling or gardening or doing something else that isn’t necessarily the portrait of restfulness, and suddenly Monday arrives like a sharp jab to your sternum. The alarm lacks subtlety, leaving you confused and vaguely breathless. This is a dire situation.

The day starts slowly. Minutes move by with the plodding grace of a third-rate sumo wrestler. Coffee? Yes, coffee. Mugs of it, pots even. You’re not shy.

Still, the propulsive force of sheer necessity is more potent than anything ever dreamed up by Juan Valdez. Somewhere deep in your reptilian brain, an instinct for survival is making its play for daylight. It seems to say, "Look. I’m not any happier about this than you are, but let’s buck up and get through this because we need to keep this job for beer money."

Slowly, you gather momentum. The driving relentlessness of reserve energy is Mother Nature’s great gift and you are deeply in debt to her generosity. Sure enough, morning bleeds into afternoon without too much coaxing, and you begin to feel a glimmer of hope. Then, suddenly, you’re in a meandering line of early evening traffic and you realize that you’ve made it through. A deep breath, a pump of your fist, and a stomp of the gas pedal later you’re cruising homewards towards a richly deserved evening of sitting on your ass and eating Doritos.

But this tale shouldn’t end here. You have shown a ferocity of determination that merits a better fate. This is a victory, and victories of all stripes deserve recognition. Monday morning has become Monday evening, and you’ve proven once again that mere exhaustion holds no sway over you. So pour yourself something cold, strong, and altogether celebratory. Because damn it, you’ve earned it.

Surviving a Monday? Now THAT’S a reason to drink!

TAGS [ Reason to Drink ]