There’s a mild phenomena happening as I write this – and it’s something I don’t understand at all.
There’s an undeniable facial hair fever spreading and I want to know why.
Sure, today is the last day of "Movember". While I commend all of the men who have spent the past month growing and grooming their lip sweaters to raise awareness and funds for men’s cancer initiatives, I still find myself perplexed.
Movember promotes moustaches being on peoples’ faces, which is where they belong. Other people seem to think moustaches should be everywhere – and that’s where my confusion comes in.
I was at the mall last week and I saw a sparkly pink purse in the window of a Claire’s store. Smack dab in the middle of that handbag that had been crafted for a 10-year-old girl was a bold black handlebar moustache.
We just started selling Gentleman’s Mustache Pilsner Glasses here at KegWorks.
If you visit Etsy.com and search "moustache" there are 10,304 items in the results and they’re all relevant! Moustache bow ties, moustache earrings, moustache iPhone cases, moustache pacifiers and bibs for babies, chocolates shaped like moustaches. You can even buy a moustache shaped table or a customized moustache manual typewriter.
There are entire themed events dedicated to the ‘stache. I once stumbled onto a moustache party at a bar. There were men in moustache ties and pretty girls wearing moustache print dresses. Everyone had moustaches attached to their straws. They wore moustache pins and drank from moustache glasses. I had to leave because I feared my head might explode.
I have a particularly close brewer friend who has a killer handlebar arrangement going on in the middle of his mug. Stepping into public with him is an event. We can’t walk 10 feet without people stopping him to comment and/or gawk. Women love it. I feel bad because I tend to roll my eyes a lot when I’m with him – but it’s because I don’t understand.
Why the obsession? What’s so great about specially arranged hairs on the upper lip? Why do women, who mostly can’t grow moustaches, feel the need to plaster themselves and their accessories with the image of them?
If someone could just explain moustache-mania to me, I’d be in a better place.