A Case for the Humble Pint Glass

We all want to do well. It’s human instinct to want to succeed, to achieve, to be great. An insatiable drive lurks in our collective souls and whispers, “Run towards immortality in whatever form it’s available to you.” Sometimes this means you live fast and soak up the spotlight reserved for society’s stars. But for most of us, this means that we wake up every day, punch in (literally, figuratively, or both), and do our damndest to do right by the people that love us. And let’s make no mistake: a simple life is not synonymous with a worthless one.

Consider the simple brilliance of the pint glass. I’d describe it as kind of like a cylinder? With an open end that you pour stuff into? That’s pretty much it, right? I mean, it’s hard to put the elegant basicness of a pint glass into words, and when things are hard to put into words they become easy to overlook. That’s a mistake.

The Humble Shaker Pint Glass

The utility of the pint glass is legendary. It’s the perfect size for refreshment. No matter the strength of your thirst, nor the quenching quality of your chosen beverage, 16 ounces is enough to transform even the driest desert of a throat into a lush tropical rain forest. I’m talking lush like there are really bright, sharp-beaked birds flying around eating insects older than dinosaurs. The kind of place where National Geographic goes to take boob pics. Just think…a throatful of boob pics. Thanks pint glasses!

Also, have you ever ordered a “juice glass of Guinness”? If so, you must be a regular at Weird Bar where weird weirdos hang out to be weird together and sing weirdo songs. Don’t be weird (or go ahead and be weird, but at least don’t be a regular at Weird Bar until they start serving proper pints).

Adopt the pint glass lifestyle, and embrace the attitude of the Everyman. A cabinet filled with humble pints is a subtle sign of your recognition that you don’t have to be flashy to be wonderful. You don’t have to be a superstar to have value. You don’t have to be great to be good. Get the job done, make people happy, wet a few whistles, and know that you’ve made a difference. That’s all the immortality you need.

1 Comment

  • Mike Cowbourne February 28, 2013 @ 5:58am

    But a proper pint glass is 20 oz the 16 oz version is for wimps 🙂

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