As an April Fools Day joke, we posted fake job openings for six different positions including Vice President of Evening & Weekend Operations, Drinking Department Managers, Entry Level Beer Tasters, Office Jester, Douchey Photo Model and Puke Cleaner Upper.
We advised applicants to submit their resume to email@example.com and we didn’t expect much to come in, considering it was a joke.
We did receive the following resume however, and we felt compelled to post it here. Benjamin Dover applied for Drinking Department Manager and we have to admit that if it were a real position and Ben was a real guy, we’d probably bring him in for an interview. Check it out and toast your next drink to people with a fantastic sense of humor!
Here’s the cover letter:
I am writing to you today about the following position for your company that I found on your website; Drinking Department Manager. I believe that my background would make me a perfect candidate for the position.
Most recently, my experience has been in the radio station industry, doing upper management stuff. This included running trips to the store to stock the company beer fridge and babysitting coworkers to make sure they did what I told them to do.
I have attached my resume below for your review. I am confident that my experience would be an asset to your company. Thank you for your consideration for this position, and I look forward to the opportunity to speak with you in more detail about my experience.
And now for the resume:
123 Main Street
Elma, NY 12345
Michigan University – Graduated: 4/1/2008
Degree – B.S. of Potato Vodka Making with a minor in Basket Weaving
Maintained a BAC of .05+ every day
Canisius College – Graduated: 4/1/2011
Degree – M.S. of Irish Whiskey Tasting
Relative Work Experience
YBANASS Radio Station
4/2008 – 3/2011
- Babysat the people that worked under me
- Told coworkers what to do all day
- Stocked company beer cooler
- Held coworkers hair back when they drank too much during the day
Externet Megacorpor Agility
1/2000 – 3/2008
- Motivated employees to drink like Olympians
- Organized happy hours
- Suggested beer pairings for food to colleagues when they were making dinner for their loved ones
1/2009 – Present
- Tasted various alcoholic shots before served as specials on menus
- Shot the shit with customers
- Inspected bathrooms for cleanliness
- Tasted food on occasion
[techtags:APRIL FOOLS, FAKE RESUME]