Are You a Beer Snob Too?

I attended the Buffalo Sabres’ first preseason game last week. Before the game I enjoyed a few microbrews on draft at Pearl Street Grill and Brewery across the street from the HSBC Area. Once I arrived at the game however, I realized that I my draft options consisted of Bud Light and Labatt Blue. Even though I knew the answer already, I asked “do you have anything light on tap, besides the Bud Light?”

As the bartender shot down my hopes for another option, an acquaintance I was with asked me, “what’s wrong with Bud Light?”

I instinctively thought “what’s NOT wrong with Bud Light?” and subsequently realized that I have officially become a beer snob.

The Subtle Art of beer SnobberyToday, I came across a hilarious article titled “The Subtle Art of Beer Snobbery” on the Modern Drunkard site and I feel compelled to share.

Not only is it funny, it’s kind of true! Check out an excerpt below on types of beer snobs or read the whole thing here.

Types of Beer Snobs

Deciding you want to be a beer snob is not enough. You also have to decide what sort of beer snob you want to be.

1. The Beer Fuehrer
This curmudgeonly gentleman will declare he would rather guzzle urine than drink what he considers “bad beer.” And by bad he means any beer that comes in a can, has commercials on television, or has been heard of by more than fifty people. He can only pity the poor fools who sit in bars drinking the swill disgorged by the vast corporate vats, when they could be drinking swill produced in much smaller ones.

2. The Hops Head
The power-crazed Dr. Frankenstein of beer snobs, this wretched soul has descended so deeply into the pit of snobbery he has convinced himself that the vile liquid (he will call it something akin to Super Duper Black Cherry Berry Power Porter) he concocted in his basement is not only non-poisonous, but superior to the stuff it took monks 50 generations to perfect. One caveat: the longer and more grandiose the title of his obscene creation, the more likely it will be good for poisoning the rats in your cellar.

3. The Beer Geek
The beer world equivalent of a Trekkie, this fan is forever making pilgrimages to far flung festivals and conventions, will belong to any number of beer associations (and wears the T-shirts to prove it) and has never had sex with a woman where there wasn’t money involved. Beards are common and they have a powerful fetish for steins.

4. The Beer Lover
These are the Rex Reeds of the beer snob community. They have never met a beer that was not “gorgeously fabulous” or “fabulously gorgeous.” The closest they ever come to a bad review is when they mistake the glass of water used to clear the palate for beer, and even then they’ll give it three stars and declare it “a promising new light lager worth keeping your eye on.”

I’d classify myself as a Beer Fuehrer… what kind of beer snob are you?



  • Deron September 23, 2009 @ 8:53am

    Welcome to the fold, Liz. It was only a matter of time. Blame Dave, I did.

  • Hannah September 23, 2009 @ 12:21pm

    I don’t think I fit into any of the 5 listed categories – I suppose I’m closest to Beer Fuehrer, but I don’t have an issue with most advertised brands, providing they’re not swill, nor do I have an issue with some canned beer (Guinness is a good example of canned beer I’ll drink, when draft is not available)…

    But, I am known to enjoy even tasteless lagers and pilsners – aka lawnmower beers – when the mood strikes…

  • Ed September 23, 2009 @ 3:35pm

    I’m with Hannah on this one. I maintain a level of flexibility in my taste (only because my wallet tells me to!), so I won’t go whizzing on advertised brews… However, I absolutely, positively refuse to drink some of the really “LöBrau” brands…

    BTW, “Fosters: Australian for swill!”

  • Hannah September 23, 2009 @ 3:42pm

    Ed – Agreed! also, Stella Artois, IMHO, is European for “swill” 🙂

  • Liz September 23, 2009 @ 3:47pm

    I know I’m the odd (wo)man out here but I STILL like Stella… even after the onset of Beer Snobbery!

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