This Sunday, February 3rd, the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers are set to square off in Super Bowl XLVII. For those of you who aren’t familiar with the Super Bowl, you probably shouldn’t waste time reading this blog post because you’re too busy being weird. For the rest of us, it’s about time to start revving up our party engines for America’s Unofficial Best Day of the Year.
So, just what goes down on Super Bowl Sunday? What’s the final score on the carnage we do to our arteries, our livers, and our ability to actually show up to work the next day? Well, I went on an Internet quest to find some interesting facts and figures, and there are plenty of them out there. I read about lining up chicken wings end to end to circle the Earth (twice!). I saw that Americans will go to the bathroom 1.4 billion times on Sunday. Hell, I even found out that the grass on the field produces 4,800 kilograms of oxygen.
But as I was perusing these sites, I realized…who’s checking these stats? Is it just a bunch of bloggers like me? Are we all just trying to come up with an idea that people will find interesting and then getting our collective Googles on? I mean, do I feel comfortable coming into the hallowed confines of the KegWorks blog and potentially misleading you guys?
Well, there’s one stat that seemed to repeat itself over and over. It was presented in different ways and broken down in different language, but it was always there:
People who watch the Super Bowl drink A LOT of beer.
I wanted to be more specific than that. I wanted to boil it down to the number of cans of beer that the average Super Bowl viewer would drink and leave you with an incredibly timely little factoid for Sunday. But it proved impossible.
Some sites want us to imagine swimming pools or moon craters full of brew. Others tout more reasonable metrics like gallons consumed, cases bought, or ounces downed. But no matter how the information was conceptualized it seems that the math always worked out to some astronomically high number. I mean, we’re talking about 8 beers per person on the low end and 1.5 cases of beer per person on the high end. Honestly, either number will probably get you drunk but either might also get you a Monday morning vacation to stomach pump land.
Let’s leave it at this: If you’re reading this, you’re probably going to drink some beers. I sure know I am. But let’s all agree to not be idiots. Enjoy the game, drink whatever you’re gonna drink, and hand the keys to someone who didn’t do their best to take down a swimming pool full of beer. Happy Super Bowl!