Hey Vaportini – It’s About the Drink, Not the Drunk

Vaportini

We’re usually pretty pumped when a hot new product hits the adult beverage world, however we just can’t seem to get behind the Vaportini, a new vaporizer that gently heats your liquor with a candle until it releases intoxicating vapors, which you then inhale through a straw.

We’re also big fans of selling things online, yet the fact that this device is available on the web really bothers us too.

Sure, some responsible adults may be curious about the experience and how the flavors carry over but let’s all be honest for a second; it’s not going to be the experience that sells this thing – it’s the instant and intense intoxication you get from bypassing the digestive system and sending booze right into your bloodstream through your lungs.

If that selling point doesn’t scream, “Hey inexperienced binge drinkers who want to get really wasted as fast and as cheap as you can, give me a try!” I don’t know what does. If the fact that this thing is for sale on a website for $35 and anyone can buy it doesn’t worry you, it probably should.

When vaporized alcohol enters the bloodstream directly (as opposed to going through the digestive system) any protective impulses your body has (like vomiting) are bypassed. Furthermore, the alcohol going right to the brain makes inhalation more addictive than regular drinking.

Supporters of alcohol inhalation say it’s just another way for adults to enjoy an adult beverage. I disagree. Then again, I enjoy my drinks – not my drunk.

I’ll admit, a buzz is a nice (and sometimes welcome) side effect but it’s certainly not why I drink. I drink because there’s no sound quite as refreshing as the clink of ice cubes in my cold gin and tonic on a hot day. I drink because I like the way the flavors in a good IPA make my grilled steaks taste even better. I drink because I like to share the things I love with the people I care about. I drink for a lot of reasons, and getting drunk isn’t even on the list.

That being said, the Vaportini will not be on my list of things to try this year. I can’t imagine that the federal government appreciates people profiting on products that allow us to huff regulated substances, so I imagine it may be short lived.

Has anyone out there tried this? Anyone want to stand up for vaporized alcohol? Feel free to comment; I’d love to hear your thoughts.

2 Comments

  • K January 17, 2013 @ 4:34pm

    Why are you d-riding the fed? Do what you want with your own body, you don’t need a babysitter. This looks incredible, I can now binge smoke pot and binge drink alternating without my pot tolerance getting high 🙂

  • Ma Bell February 5, 2013 @ 5:38am

    I bought one to taste single-malt scotch with. I never drink to get drunk and I’m certainly not going to start inhaling to do so. For $35, if there’s a tool I can use to more appreciate the nuances of a particular liquor, I figured it was worth a shot.

    That said, anyone I’ve excitedly mentioned this to thinks I’ve turned into Richard Pryor, so I can also see where you’re coming from.

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