How Not to Make an Ass of Yourself At Holiday Parties

There are a million of these silly lists floating around on the Internet but we thought we’d come up with our own. Here’s our foolproof guide for having a good time while keeping your sparkling reputation intact.

Corporate Christmas Parties

Don’t Be a Waste-Case – This may seem painfully obvious but we’ve found that there’s actually a huge correlation between being a waste case and looking like an ass. In fact we’re pretty sure you’ll eliminate 98% of possibly embarrassing situations if you just keep it together and maintain an acceptable level of sobriety. We’re not saying not to drink at all, just try to stay away from pounding shots of Crown before every round.

Don’t Bring a Waste-Case – Even if you’re in control, your significant other, friend or relative can still make you look like an ass. Trust us.

Keep it Classy – Remember, tacky holiday sweaters and antler headbands are just slightly less offensive than barely there dresses and shimmery see-through dress shirts. None of the above are acceptable. Be tasteful and don’t try to be sexy, especially if it’s a company party. No one likes a skank (ok, maybe the waste-cases do but it’s still not ok).

Adapt – Those guys and/or gals you joke with at the office or see out occasionally, they have husbands, wives and families. When their home life meets their work or social life at a party, there could be a culture clash. Don’t overstep any boundries and remember that people may act differently towards you. Keep your hands and off-colored comments to yourself and behave!

Stop Whining – Keep any negative comments about the venue, food, décor and entertainment to yourself. While we’re on the subject, try not to complain about Obama, your grandma’s nursing home or that nasty rash either. The holidays are supposed to be full of joy and no one wants you bringing them down.

Stop Talking About Work – Even if it’s a work party, no one is really interested in your riveting story about how you found that mistake in the third-quarter numbers at 8 o’clock on a Saturday. There are other appropriate conversation topics out there, just avoid religion and politics like the plague.

Refrain from Eating Like an Animal – You’re somewhat civilized, right? Just because there’s free shrimp cocktail and lots of pastry puffs doesn’t mean you have to shovel several of both into your mouth whenever you have the chance.

Know When to Leave – If your intern or your second cousin starts looking good, it’s time to go. If you’re tempted to dance on anything that isn’t the floor, it’s time to go. If you feel an overwhelming confidence and want to ask your boss for a raise and/or promotion at the bar, it’s probably time to go. It all ties back into the not being a waste-case.

Keep these in mind and you’ll be good to go. Party on friends, party on.


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