I Want a Kegerator for Christmas: An Open Letter

I would really love a kegerator for Christmas. I know you have your hesitations so I wanted to take a moment to explain.

A kegerator is truly a gift that keeps on giving. Sure, I’ll only get to unwrap it once, but once it’s mine, it will dispense just as many magical moments as beers.

KegeratorMaybe that last bit is a slight exaggeration but my point remains. The first time I pour myself a fresh draft beer, in the comfort of my own home, will be a memory that stays with me for life. The first party I host where I can say, “Hey guys, kegerator’s over there. Help yourself.” will make me swell with pride. I’ll have to hide my excitement every time someone new comes over and I get to show it off again, all nonchalant, like it’s no big deal. The next time I’m at the supermarket and spot someone returning a cart full of empties as onlookers quietly judge them, I will be glad there’s no one looking at me wondering if I have a drinking problem. Speaking of drinking problems, having a kegerator will not cause me to develop one. Owning a kegerator merely means I’m buying my beer in bulk and buying in bulk is smart. Does having a wholesale club membership and buying big boxes of Cheez-Its cause eating problems? Sure doesn’t. It just saves you money. Speaking of saving money, kegs will help me spend 50 – 70% less on beer.

I want a kegerator for Christmas because I want a project I can work on; something to continuously improve and care for. I want a machine that encourages me to bond with friends, and sometimes allows me to spend quality time with myself. I want a kegerator for Christmas because it’s a gift I can share with others for years to come.

What do you say?

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