Meet the World’s Worst Law: No Beer on Christmas in Indiana

Recently, according to the Indy Star, a single officer from the Indiana Excise Police served citations to over 109 individual locations of Speedway (the massive convenience store chain that operates over 300 stores in Indiana alone). The charge?

Selling beer on Christmas day.

Are you thinking, “Huh? What? Why can’t they sell beer on Christmas day?” Because I sure did. But apparently, since Prohibition, Indiana’s had a law on the books that turns the entire state into a dry, barren booze desert each year on Christmas Day (and every Sunday for that matter).


The exterior of a typical Speedway service station (Photo via

Please, allow me to say this: what a stupid, stupid law.

Booze is not inherently evil. It is not the Devil’s Juice. Sure, it can be abused, and things can get ugly fast. But in moderation? As a way to stoke the fires in our souls until the warmth spreads outward and blankets everything with love sweet love? Well, I’d say that’s not bad at all.

Christmas without beer? Why, that’s not Christmas. Hell, that’s not even Labor Day. Christmas is a day for relaxing with your loved ones and quite frankly, beer makes that better. Why should it be treated like something to be ashamed of?

I understand that not all people are drinkers. And that not all families are drinking families. But I would hope that those same non-drinking people and families would extend me the courtesy of that same kind of understanding. I am a drinker. My family is a drinking family. To me, that doesn’t deserve the kind of haughty judgment that’s inherently implied by laws such as this one.

So Indianans, I urge you to unite in the name of beer. Stand up for the ideals of proud beer drinkers everywhere. Make noise. Write letters. Contact your government officials and get this asinine law abolished. Let us know if we can help.

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