The Big Joys of a Small Reward

Times are hard. I get that. For many of us, money is stretched tighter than a pair of leather pants on Rosie O’Donnell. We get to work early, stay there late, and do our damndest to make ends meet. Mortgages, car payments, box after box of Hamburger Helper. This is where our pennies go, and we’ve accepted that because we’re adults. To paraphrase noted songstress/genius Fergie, “Big girls (and boys) don’t cry.”

But at some point, don’t you catch yourself thinking, “Wait, is this it? When does the good stuff start?” Trust me, I get it. You work hard and whoever said that hard work is it’s own reward probably owned a sweat shop. And if anyone tells you that staying financially afloat and ahead of your bills and responsibilities is the reward you’ve earned, you should respond with something witty like “Shut your claptrap Johnny Good Citizen.”

A true reward has nothing to do with “needs.” When you’ve busted your balls tirelessly, you deserve something more. The sum efforts of your toil should be met with a glorious prize that falls squarely in the category of “wants.” Of course, you probably have no shortage of “wants” and let’s be honest: you’re probably never going to be able to afford your own robot girlfriend. But that doesn’t mean you can’t scale back and come up with something else that costs less than the GDP of Peru (and actually exists). The following is a (completely non-exhaustive) list of realistically priced items on our site that will keep a smile on your face in your battle against the time-clock.

Superman and Batman Caped Pint Glasses

1. Superman and Batman Pint Glasses – Let’s be real for a second here. Who doesn’t love superheroes? More to the point…who doesn’t love capes?

2. Gin and Titonic Ice Cube Tray – Too soon? Or too awesome? You be the judge!

3. Sippin’ Seat Flask Stadium Seat Cushion – This is guaranteed to get high fives from all the other thrifty drunks in your section. And if you happen to be a Bills fan like us, you need all the cheap hooch you can get your hands on.

4. Leather Bota Bag – Ever feel like pretending you’re a shepherd? Yeah, me too.

5. Drunken Ship Battleship Drinking Game – Competitive boozing has never been so fun. Or competitively boozy.

Like I said, this list is far from being a completely comprehensive resource. So go ahead and click around until you find something that speaks to your soul. Because what the hell, you’ve earned it!

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