There comes a time in every person’s life when they must realize a pretty important truth:
You know how Scrooge McDuck loved to dive into his vault filled with gold coins? How he’d swim around, flapping his duck arms and tossing invaluable gold doubloons into the air with an unrivaled and unabashedly self-interested joy?
Well, in real life, ducks don’t talk, the gold standard is long dead, and in the words of Peter Griffin “Ahhh! It’s not a liquid! It’s a great many pieces of solid matter that form a hard, floor-like surface!”
In other words, real life, with all its logic and imagination-limiting laws of physics, is kind of disappointing. I mean, if you can’t dive into your own personal vault filled with untold riches without injuring yourself in a profound way, what the hell can you dive into? Here’s a hint: if you were thinking that one possible answer is “a pool filled with liquor” (and who wasn’t thinking that?) be prepared to still be disappointed.
Don’t believe me? Well, in a recent conversation on Quora (the social network/home base of crowd-sourced intelligence) this very question was tackled in the aptly titled thread, “What would happen if I jumped in a pool full of liquor?“
Now, if you don’t know about Quora, the idea is that questions of all sorts and stripes get posed to the community and that somewhere out there in that community is a person who has expert-level insight into that very topic. So people who fancy themselves notably knowledgeable either answer the question of their own volition or respond to a request to field a particular query. Then the larger community is able to put their confidence behind a given answer via a Facebook-like upvoting system.
In short, if an answer gets lots of votes, you can be pretty certain that it contains real value, in some form or another. The most upvoted answer to this question reads as follows:
You would find it much harder than usual to swim and may drown in an unusually horrible way, for two reasons:
1) Distilled liquors have quite a bit lower density (and thus less buoyancy) than a swimming pool because alcohol is lighter than water. You cannot float in 80 proof alcohol — even with lungs fully inflated, your body is denser than the liquor and you will sink if you stop swimming [source].
2) The fumes will probably cause you to choke and cough. It will be extremely difficult to get a good breath of air, and what you do inhale may cause you to get drunk to the point of passing out. Then you will pass out, inhale liquid, and die. What I don’t know is whether the asphyxiation or alcohol poisoning will kill you first.
Yikes. Sounds like I need a new plan for the weekend. Does anyone out there have a jacuzzi filled with beer? Let me know guys!
There are plenty of other answers, ranging from interesting to amusing to unsettling. Seriously, it’s a great website, a wonderful concept, and this question is just the tip of the iceberg. We here at KegWorks try to operate by the maxim that “cool respects cool.” And since our mom, Mrs. KegWorks, told us that we’re cool, we feel like we can give straight proppity bops to Quora. Cheers to curiosity!