Everyone wants to feel like they’ve made it in life. Like they’re doing more than just surviving. You know what I mean. You want to embrace some luxuries, show off a little bit, be the first to have the best, or the biggest, or the most revolutionary. It’s just human nature.
Here’s an example. Would you rather have a jumbled collection of old booze bottles that require manual measuring skills or a sleek electronic booze butler that pours like a dream and looks even better?
Well, my thirsty friends, today is your (very) lucky day. We sell that dreamy booze butler and its name is The SideBar Electronic Beverage Dispensing System. Even better? For a limited time only, we’ve knocked $100 off the price. How’s that for helping you keep up with the Joneses?
Alright, so what exactly is the SideBar? Great question. I think this is a fair definition: “A revolutionary dispensing system that makes pouring a perfect drink as easy as pushing a button. Also, it looks like the future.”
Look, pouring the old-fashioned way is for suckers. That’s just all there is to it. The SideBar arrives on your doorstep pre-plumbed, pre-wired, and ready to be dropped into your counter. Once you’ve picked the perfect spot, hook up the dispensing leads to your favorite bottles and get the party started.
The SideBar is fully programmable. Want to make sure you never pour more than an ounce of vodka? No problem comrade. Want a free-flowing stream of wonderful, beautiful tequila? You got it muchacho. With SideBar, you’re in control.
Obviously, the SideBar makes a stellar addition to any home bar, but why stop there? The easy-pouring convenience makes for a perfect way to prevent spills on bouncy boats and road-chewing RVs, and the sleek, elegant styling will play nicely with any decor.
Here’s the long and the short of it: the SideBar is pretty freaking awesome. It’s a great way to elevate your drinking game, dress up your drinking space, and make your friends jealous. And right now, it’s $100 off. Use that money to stock up on some special booze, or enjoy a nice meal, or caress your buttocks with a pair of well-made slacks. Really, you can do whatever you want with it. That’s your $100. But only if you act now.