What is the essence of being human?
Is it the potential presence of a spiritual soul? Recognition of our own mortality? The ability to discern right from wrong?
An argument can probably be made for any of these things (without delving too far into theological discussions), but I’d throw my hat in the ring for a different contender altogether. To me, being human is best summed up by noted philosopher Jim Carrey: “P-A-R-T-Y? Because I gotta!”
We gather as friends and family to celebrate, to mourn, to blow off steam, to get drunk, to talk about our lives and our dreams and our problems and our kids. We toast to the glorious transgressions of our lost youth and the hard-earned wisdom that is aging’s prize. Truly, there is no shortage of reasons to have a party.
But things aren’t perfect. For too long we have allowed ourselves to be governed by the constraints of our functional anatomy. Left hand: burger, right hand: beer. We are not creatures of innumerable appendages. Our world is one of two hands and when both of those are engaged, we are lost at sea. Sure we can eat, drink, and be merry, but only if we tether ourselves to the unyielding immobility of a table.
“This is tyranny,” you cry. “Why must we sacrifice our desire to mingle if we want to eat and drink? Something must be done!”
Cry not my friends, for the future is here. Eat to your heart’s content, drink to your liver’s dismay, and do it all with one hand as free and unfettered as a bird in flight. Come to the Go Plate and you’ll never go back!
These unique plates, specially designed with a center indent to accommodate your bottle, can, or red Solo cup, make eating on the go as easy as…well, as easy as eating not on the go.
Left hand: burger AND beer, right hand: everything else in the world! Play horseshoes, text your imaginary girlfriend, perform a 10-step handshake with DJ Jazzy Jeff, challenge Grandma to a one-handed pushup contest, or just use your free hand to eat while you stand and chat with the friends and loved ones that have gathered for whatever the special occasion is. With Go Plates, you get back the extra hand that you’ve already had!
But don’t take my written word for it. Instead, watch this video and take my spoken and video recorded word for it.