World’s First Foolproof Cure for the Common Drunk


Everyone’s heard the classic myths about slosh-squashing; a splash of cold water on the face, a couple cups of coffee, a good chug of water, or an hour-long nap. All of these methods have been tried and tested, all have failed.

Who hasn’t wished, at least once, that there was a magical pill to turn a drunk man or woman sober? According to Discovery News, we’re getting closer to that day. Researchers at UCLA have begun testing packaged enzymes inside a nontoxic, nanoscale polymer shell that mimic the body’s natural alcohol-processing activities. For those of you, like me, who aren’t exactly hip to scientific vernacular, let me translate this for you: we’re talking about drunk to sober in a matter of mere moments.

The enzymes, called biomimetic enzyme nanocomplexes, were tested on intoxicated mice, and successfully reduced blood alcohol levels quite quickly and dramatically. The research states that these enzymes show promise as “antidotes and preventive measures for alcohol intoxication,” and the researchers believe that there may be a way for people to take the antidote orally in the future.

UCLA’s Biomolecular Engineer and head researcher, Yunfeng Lu, says that “since alcohol metabolism occurs naturally in the liver, it would almost be like having millions of liver cell units inside your stomach or in your intestine, helping you to digest alcohol.”

I’m having a hard time forming a solid opinion on all of this. On the one hand, I think it could be a great thing, as some people believe that those classic myths actually work, so they splash a little water on their face after a long night of drinking, then take off in their vehicles. With a sober pill, we might see a reduction in drunk driving accidents.

On the other hand, it may encourage binge drinking among minors, as they’ll have a quick cure when going to school, work, and so forth. The same goes for adults – this pill may present itself as a sort of pseudo-solution to alcohol abuse.

Either way, this news is pretty amazing. I don’t over-indulge all that frequently, but it does happen now and then, and I have to admit, I wouldn’t hate having a few sober pills on hand for when the time does come.

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