Your New Secret Weapon in the Fight Against Kidney Stones

I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure that men can’t get pregnant (with the notable exception of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior). If you don’t have a uterus, you don’t have to worry about an extra-large, squirmy cantaloupe with arms coming shooting out of the place where you pee (more or less). It’s one of the many advantages to being a man. But just when we start feeling pretty good about ourselves and our generally stress-free role in the reproductive process…Boom. Kidney stones. Playtime is over hombre and your urethra is about to suffer through a harder time than Gary Busey in a beauty contest.


Gary Busey Beer and Kidney Stones

Gary Busey shows his enthusiasm for defeating kidney stones with beer.

Alright, that’s perhaps a bit dramatic. I’ve actually never heard a single woman compare passing a kidney stone to the rigors of childbirth. Let’s just say that I feel like men probably underestimate the pain involved with forcing a baby down through your birth canal like a circus performer being shot from a fleshy cannon. But we do know this: passing a kidney stone is by all accounts an excruciatingly painful endeavor that you wouldn’t really wish on your own worst enemy. In other words, it’s something to avoid.

I bet you’re thinking, “But what can I do to avoid a kidney stone? I am not the master of my own fate. Woe is me.”

Posh! Posh, I say! You are the master of your own fate! How do I know this? It’s easy. This past weekend, I was doing a little light reading in the Clinical Journal of the American Society of Nephrology (slogan: “Nephro is our favorite ology”) and came across an interesting article. Apparently, a study was recently conducted into the impact of various beverages on the odds of forming kidney stones, because you know, science and stuff.

What were the results? In a nutshell, drink less soda, drink more beer. The daily consumption of one beer was shown to lower the risk of kidney stone development by over 40% (while soda was responsible for a roughly 30% INCREASE in risk). Now THAT’S science!

So go ahead and grab another brew. Your blood-free urine will thank you. Or, you know, just be blood-free. And that should be thanks enough.


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