I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure that men can’t get pregnant (with the notable exception of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior). If you don’t have a uterus, you don’t have to worry about an extra-large, squirmy cantaloupe with arms coming shooting out of the place where you pee (more or less). It’s one of the many advantages to being a man. But just when we start feeling pretty good about ourselves and our generally stress-free role in the reproductive process…Boom. Kidney stones. Playtime is over hombre and your urethra is about to suffer through a harder time than Gary Busey in a beauty contest.
Alright, that’s perhaps a bit dramatic. I’ve actually never heard a single woman compare passing a kidney stone to the rigors of childbirth. Let’s just say that I feel like men probably underestimate the pain involved with forcing a baby down through your birth canal like a circus performer being shot from a fleshy cannon. But we do know this: passing a kidney stone is by all accounts an excruciatingly painful endeavor that you wouldn’t really wish on your own worst enemy. In other words, it’s something to avoid.
I bet you’re thinking, “But what can I do to avoid a kidney stone? I am not the master of my own fate. Woe is me.”
Posh! Posh, I say! You are the master of your own fate! How do I know this? It’s easy. This past weekend, I was doing a little light reading in the Clinical Journal of the American Society of Nephrology (slogan: “Nephro is our favorite ology”) and came across an interesting article. Apparently, a study was recently conducted into the impact of various beverages on the odds of forming kidney stones, because you know, science and stuff.
What were the results? In a nutshell, drink less soda, drink more beer. The daily consumption of one beer was shown to lower the risk of kidney stone development by over 40% (while soda was responsible for a roughly 30% INCREASE in risk). Now THAT’S science!
So go ahead and grab another brew. Your blood-free urine will thank you. Or, you know, just be blood-free. And that should be thanks enough.