18 Homer Simpson Beer Quotes That Will Never Stop Being Funny

So we just started selling this awesome Duff Beer Pint Glass and it got me thinking about one of the most lovable drunks of all time – Mr. Homer Simpson.

The Simpsons Legos

Since I had Homie on the brain, I thought now would be the perfect time to revisit some of the best beer-related lines spewed by his pale yellow animated mouth.

18 Homer Simpson Beer Quotes That Will Never Stop Being Funny

18. “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure…not even close.”

17. “Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart’s a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let’s go back to that… building… thingie… where our beds and TV… is.”

16. “It’s a good thing that beer wasn’t shaken up any more, or I’d have looked quite the fool. An April fool, as it were.”

15. “You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.”

14. “I’ve figured out an alternative to giving up my beer. Basically, we become a family of traveling acrobats.”

13. “Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille’s heel, if you will.”

12. “All right, let’s not panic. I’ll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.”

11. “Does whisky count as beer?”

10. “I’m gonna drink lots of beer and stay out all night.”

9. “All right, brain. You don’t like me and I don’t like you, but let’s just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.”

8. “A woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!”

7. “Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for Daddies, and kids with fake IDs.”

6. “Marge send the kids to the neighbors. I’m coming home loaded.”

5. “I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”

4. “Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.”

3. “Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.”

2. “Homer no function beer well without.”

1. “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

More Funny Beer Quotes for Your Wall


  • Isotope June 15, 2016 @ 9:04pm

    Homer os the bestest!!

  • Isotope June 15, 2016 @ 9:04pm

    Homer is the bestest!!

  • Joseph Rand November 18, 2016 @ 4:27pm

    LOL. Homer is awesome!

  • madilyn April 19, 2017 @ 2:05pm

    homer is a complete waste of time and its a piece of crap

  • Eungi Le September 14, 2018 @ 12:59am

    LOL! I am Homer!

  • Homer J. Simpson November 14, 2018 @ 8:47am

    No TV and no beer make Homer something something. [Go crazy.] Don’t mind if I do…

  • ken pancoast January 12, 2019 @ 7:21pm

    You fogot homers “retirement plan”

  • Funkypuppet February 19, 2020 @ 12:32pm

    “Homer, you can have total enlightenment and everlasting peace, or you can have a beer”.
    “Eh… What kinda beer?”

    • Jennifer April 6, 2020 @ 4:46am

      Thank you! That is my favorite Simpsons quote of all time, which I was shocked to not find in the list.

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